Lonely older women? The stereotypes surrounding older women are endless. Just the mere mention of single women over the age of 35 conjures up endless cliches of sex-starved singles living alone with only a couple of cats for company. These mythical females spend their time desperately searching for a man to make them feel whole; clawing away at anyone who shows them the slightest hint of interest and embarrassing themselves by hunting down younger men while caked in heavy makeup and OTT hair in a laughable attempt to appear younger than their years...
So what is the truth when it comes to women of a certain age? Is the stark reality really so bad that 'cat woman' is doomed to a solitary life spent firmly on the shelf? Or, as we suspect, is there more to the lonely older women cliche than meets the eye?
Myth # 1: Single women over 35 are typically lonely older women who lead a solitary life with only a couple of cats for company.
Reality: Many older women see their older years as an opportunity to reinvent themselves by following their dreams and passions.
The vast majority of older women relish and celebrate their middle years using their energies, insight and wisdom to their huge advantage: trying out new hobbies; travelling the world; meeting new friends and partners. A new partner maybe older or younger; relative age is often of little consequence. What matters is that two people sharing life's journey also have shared values, chemistry, a love of life and of each other.
A recent study of retired people in North America found that of the polled 2,500 women aged 45 and over, 63 percent said that they viewed their older years as a time to pursue their dreams and fulfil their passions. Furthermore, 80 percent of older women agreed that as they get older, they find the experience more freeing and revel in their independence; hardly backing up the stereotypical view that lonely older women spend most of their time at home alone.
Myth # 2: Lonely older women have either given up on their appearance or make too much of an effort to impress with heavy makeup and big hair.
Reality: There are many very pretty older women out there who present themselves immaculately in an effort to make the most of themselves.
Forget the image of a crazed Mrs Robinson type, a lot of older ladies make the most out of their looks in order to feel good about themselves; not just as an attempt to attract a mate. With many women in their prime being financially secure, it means that they have more time and money to invest in attractive tailored clothes, an extensive skin care routine and good quality makeup. Again, a lot of single older women see their older years as an opportunity for reinvention: gone is the need to look after children, care for a husband or worry about financial security, and in its place is the freedom to experiment with new looks and styles. Sexy older women can often be found at the gym, pounding a treadmill to keep their toned bodies in shape, or indulging in a relaxing facial or massage.
Myth # 3: Older women 'hunt' younger men; prowling in gyms and bars in a desperate attempt to attract a young Cub.
Reality: It is often the young Cubs doing the chasing!
The negative connotations of the Cougar lifestyle often infuriate sexy older women who are portrayed as wild animals hunting for their next victim. Most older women are too busy with work, friends, family and other forms of fun to spend their time needlessly prowling various Cub hotspots.
Research suggests that it is often younger men who seek out an older woman mate, with a recent poll conducted by a major online dating service highlighting that 65 percent of men in their twenties seek out women who are older by five years or more.
Younger men are attracted to women in their prime who are confident, sexy, no drama, understanding and bursting with life experience. The myth of lonely older women is quickly replaced with the image of individuals who know what they want and are keen to show their worth to a younger, more attentive man who is not going to put pressure on their relationship. Older women are the complete package for these eager young Cubs: mentally focused, spiritually aware, physically attractive and sexually savvy. It's not hard to see why these sexy single women are in hot demand!
Myth # 4: Lonely older women are sex-starved and tired in the bedroom.
Reality: Older women do not merely seek out relationships in order to have sex, but they do have a wealth of sexual experience.
The older woman/younger man relationship is not all about sex! Older women do not simply look for a relationship in order to fulfil their sexual urges. In fact, statistics suggest that for 11 percent of men, the main reason they date is to pander to their sexual needs, compared to a mere two percent of women - hardly off the scale figures, and further erosion of the lonely older woman stereotype.
However, while it is important to connect with a partner firstly on an emotional level, it would seem that sexy older women and younger men could be highly compatible in the bedroom, with women reaching their sexual peak in their 40s and men in their 20s.
Many younger men are attracted to very pretty older women who are comfortable with their bodies and know what they're doing. For the sexy single woman, this is her time to shine in every aspect of her life: she may have been around, but it is now that she can put her life experience to good use. She is willing to show exactly what she likes and can help a younger man to gain confidence in the bedroom, often without forming a high emotional attachment.
Myth # 5: It just isn't acceptable for a lonely older woman to date a younger man; these relationships can never work.
Reality: Social norms may dictate double standards with regard to older women dating younger men, but many age gap couples experience fulfilled, happy and enduring relationships.
The lonely older women stereotype stands in stark contrast to that of a sugar daddy. There is a certain acceptability within society that older men dating younger women is sexy, but when the roles are reversed, it is often unimaginable for some that not all older women who enjoy relationships with younger men are sexual predators.
Many sexy older women choose younger partners to suit their hectic lifestyles, and many find that young Cubs meet their needs for an unpressured relationship full of fun and romance. Yes, there is a double standard when it comes to the stereotypical view of lonely older women, but that is not to say that all age gap relationships are doomed to fail; it all depends on the motivation of each individual.
It seems that for many sexy, confident, sassy, older women, a younger man fits perfectly with their expectations, and we don't hear many Cubs complaining.